Once in a bygone era, I was the epitome of an ambitious go-getter, relentlessly pursuing career goals like a dedicated overachiever. But behold, I have since ushered in the epoch of unapologetically "doing me." I've cast aside the world's well-meaning suggestions about what should bring me joy (yes, even the coveted corporate ladder), and now I dance to the rhythm of my own happiness.

The initial gambit in this grand transformation involved bidding a fond farewell to my soul-crushing, misery-inducing job, which ultimately culminated in me divorcing my entire career.

In a world that often measures success by the size of our paychecks and the prestige of our job titles, I've taken a detour from the conventional path. Once upon a time, I was an ambitious go-getter, a career-oriented overachiever, relentlessly pursuing the elusive notion of professional success. But as the story goes, I found myself in an era of life where "doing me" became my motto, and I haven't looked back since.

The Beginning of the End- Back Story

My post-graduation journey led me to a single, career-defining job, an experience potent enough to make me swear off such roles for eternity. Just to paint a clearer picture, I ventured into the tech realm with a fancy title of Software Development Engineer (SDE). But if you've ever tread the tech path, you'll understand the sheer ordeal of being a glorified Quality Assurance Engineer (QA).

Here are a few reasons why it was a less-than-thrilling experience:

1. The Skill Stagnation: Being a QA felt like my skills were locked in a time capsule, with no opportunities for growth or learning.

2. Blame Game: In the tech world, QA engineers often found themselves bearing the brunt of blame when things didn't work out, regardless of whether the issue was in their realm of control or not.

3. Race Against Time: Picture this - you're handed a few measly days to uncover all the problems before a product launch. The pressure was enough to make your head spin.

   All the issues were never found, thus I get asked questions “whY dIdn’T yOu SeE tHIS bUg??” and I’ll have to politely respond with “this is a unusual test case” or say “sorry, it was a missed case on my end”. But in reality, I really wanted to say “because I HAD ZERO TIME and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM WORKING ON. I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT BECAUSE YOUR FAVOURITE EMPLOYEE IS GATEKEEPING KNOWLEDGE FROM ME AND <OTHER NEWCOMER> SO WE LOOK BAD!!!>”

And if that weren't enough, let's talk about the people. My team was a masterclass in toxicity. Imagine dealing with a manager who was the embodiment of ineptitude, coupled with a seasoned colleague who seemed to have made it her life's mission to make my days miserable.

This colleague, a long-term employee with an unhealthy penchant for belittling newcomers, didn't offer an ounce of guidance during my first month(really never in the 2 years I was there.). In fact, she couldn't be bothered to lend a helping hand when I encountered something new, despite her decade-long tenure, which made her the apparent oracle of knowledge.

To make matters worse, she had a remarkable talent for passing her work onto me while incessantly claiming to be swamped with "other important tasks." Yet miraculously, she managed to perpetually skip the 30 million meetings with actual consequences.

In a nutshell, that job was a whirlwind of frustration, where my role felt like a straightjacket for my skills, and my team resembled a circus of dysfunctionality. It didn't take long to realize that there was a world beyond this, where growth, support, and sanity awaited. And so began my journey to escape the clutches of this toxic career and embrace a brighter, more fulfilling path.

Breaking Free

The first step in this transformation was perhaps the most daunting: quitting my toxic, soul-sucking job. It felt like severing a lifeline, but in reality, it was a lifeline to misery. I was scared to be income less. I was scared that I would never get a job again that paid well. I was scared that I was making one of the biggest mistakes of my life by quitting with no back plan just savings. I contemplated quitting that job for over a year and once the moment came I was so relieved that all of those anxiety inducing fears left my brain forever.

Reevaluating My Path

Leaving that job didn't just mean quitting employment temporarily; it meant quitting my entire career. It meant saving myself from a mental breakdown and diving into a severe deep depression. It meant taking a step back to reevaluate my priorities and rediscover my passions. In this process, I discovered that happiness wasn't synonymous with a paycheck or a job title. True happiness was found in pursuing what genuinely ignited my soul. And guess what, working doesn’t ignite me at all. Actually. it makes me cringe in disgust. Vomit, vomit, vomit.

Just to clarify to what I mean by working for those who are out there judging yet still reading (thank you☺️), yes you need to work in order to survive and pay bills. Work shouldn’t be a means to an end. It should compliment the lifestyle you desire. Work shouldn't be the most exciting neither does it have to your passion but it shouldn't be draining and dread waking up everyday to it. If one decides to be a barista instead of a doctor, we shouldn’t pass judgement. Being a barista probably makes them the happiest and fulfil their needs. in synopsis, don’t let society define what you do for work is less than.

Embracing Uncertainty, Unemployment, and Transition

In my journey, I knew I didn’t want spend my recovery months looking for a new job, interviewing, getting denied, and repeating the process. So, I didn’t. I focused on my mental health, my diet because never ate and going out for exercise. On my off time, I contemplated what I wanted to do as far as income wise. Which led me to think of my childhood and all the wild dreams I had as a career that everyone told me was unrealistic (never listen to people who doubt you. They are projecting their fears and insecurities on to you).

During this time, you’re in bliss and happiness because you never have to drag yourself to the dreadful meetings. Your mental health is in pure balance, but eventually reality will creep up, then you’re hit with what do I now for money?? The answer is whatever you desire. Become self employed, start a new career, start a social media channel, get into e-com. In the era of the Internet, you can really do whatever you want. You’re interconnected with the whole word and millions of people can reach you with just a search.

Choosing happiness over a conventional career path has certainly come with its fair share of uncertainties. There are moments of doubt and fear, but these moments are outweighed by the profound sense of fulfilment that comes from living life on my terms.

If You Relate

If my story resonates with you, I want to leave you with this message: It's okay to step off the beaten path. It's okay to prioritize your happiness and well-being above societal expectations. You don't have to conform to a one-size-fits-all definition of success. Your happiness is your own to define and pursue.

In the era of "doing me," I've discovered that the most fulfilling journey is the one that leads to self-discovery, personal growth, and a life lived authentically. So, let's raise a toast to embracing our unique paths and finding happiness on our own terms!🥂